An Aside: Reader’s Daydream

I’ve been doing a lot of free writing related to my anxiety and frustration about being unable to write. This is a freewrite that came about after reading something and having my mind wander completely away from the story because of associations triggered by a certain word or scene that took my mind elsewhere. I’m really interested in writing a story with interruption that directly addresses the reader/writer/whoever.

I couldn’t find myself in the literature, so my mind wandered.

Yes, I see you there, eyes roving the page while your attention strays. Elsewhere, as we all are. What is it that you’re thinking about? A memory, perhaps, of your childhood? An association sparked by a simple sentence which triggers the synapses in your brain to fire away, dislocating the book from your hand. And now you are whirling barefoot in tall grass as your dress catches the brambles. The air tastes like clouds hiding the sun and the chase of raindrops, thick in that way only summer knows. Oh, I can smell it.

Or perhaps human interaction has hung you up, wondering why reality isn’t this easy? God, if only conversation flowed. You’re stuck on stuttered apologies and um, like, er, maybe. What was the word? If only your tongue worked as fluently as the one with all the answers. Maybe then, but the fear of inadequacy has lodged itself in your throat as you struggle to compensate for a false rhetoric. Yes, I see you there, clutching her spine and wondering how long this will last.

You are shocked to remember that you’re actually two pages past remembering. Oh, how did I get to this point?

She smiles, sunshine squinting her eyes, and presses her mouth to mine.

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